Routines

Many friends and parenting books will tell you their "golden secret" to a happy baby. Do this, or try that, or every time your baby cries it means this. There are theories that if you play Mozart all night your baby will grow up to be a math genius, or that the only way for your baby to become an emotionally secure adult is for you to run to him each times he cries...or for you to rock him to sleep each night, or for him to sleep in bed with you, etc, etc, etc.

Here's the truth: If you do something every night, or every time your baby cries, he will expect that reaction from you. If you play Mozart every night, and the baby loves to sleep to it, and then one night your CD player gets broken...I'm sure you get the picture.

Babies love routine, they're looking for it. Routines give them an idea of what's coming next, what to expect, and an understanding of how the world works. When you change a baby's (or toddler's)routine, you're usually in for a cranky kid for a few days until the new routine takes hold.

When someone is trying to sell you on a parenting method that is routine-based (a repeatable program your child will learn to expect) consider if there is any true value in this theory, or if it's just something that will make baby happy because it's a routine and babies love routine. Also consider you. Is this a routine that you can live with, or will it eventually drive you crazy? I've met many parents over the years who bought into the family bed theory only to seriously regret the decision a few years down the road. And because every baby is different, it's hard to measure these theories without having a personal application. Some babies, from a very young age, are independent, and want lots of tummy time on the floor to explore. Others could care less, and only want the comfort of a warm lap. Does the routine compliment your child's unique personality? And because these parenting 'experts' don't know your child, they are just guessing. All their great ideas may work wonderfully for some children, but not for every child.

So, when considering establishing a certain routine for your baby, consider:
1-Does this theory have real value?
2-Is this something I can live with?
3-Does it compliment my baby's unique personality?

Routines do help though, they make for much happier babies, and help babies learn to sleep though the night faster. So establishing a routine that's right for you is very important.